Wendy takes on...

...the blopic of the day and wins! (or just muses)

Thursday, March 20, 2003

 
...Michael Moore

Let’s just start out by saying that while I do not hate Michael Moore even though it’s really popular to hate people these days, I do think that he is rather toxic. When I am subjected to his work, I feel the need to cleanse my body and soul with fibrous, organically-grown produce, lots of fresh air and large doses of logic, reason and self-respect.

Mr. Moore’s latest attention-getting gag is a letter to President Bush on the “Eve of War.” Let’s take a looksie, shall we?

First of all, he addresses him as “Governor Bush”. Now, isn’t that a clever little jibe? Get it? He’s not really president in Mr. Moore’s eyes. Mr. Moore must have missed the Social Studies unit where we learned about the Electoral College.

He goes on to talk about surviving President Bush’s “lying and conniving”. Is there a person in my vast blogging audience who can give me an example of a lie President Bush has told? Because I could sit back down in front of Mr. Moore’s “documentary”, Bowling for Columbine, and point out a few. Thanks for the infomercial, Mr. Moore, and I did spend $8 to see it, but otherwise I’m not buying your BS street preacher rhetoric.

Mr. Moore also pointed out that there is “virtually NO ONE in America who is gung-ho to go to war”. Oh, wow. I'm sure President Bush was under the impression that there are millions of twisted, depraved people hellbent on war. Thanks for clearing that up. He dares President Bush to “walk out of the White House and onto any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis.” Then guess what Mr. Moore alleges. That President Bush won’t find those five people! Well, certainly not on any one street. Again, those would be the twisted, depraved people, Mr. Moore, and we already know that aren’t that many of them.

He restrains himself from reminding President Bush that he wasn’t elected by a majority of the American people again until his second “point”. Could someone please tell Mr. Moore that this does not make President Bush unique? First of all, the Constitution was designed to PREVENT that. Second of all, do you know who, in my lifetime, would have been elected by popular vote? Presidents Ford, Carter, Reagan and Bush (41). Hmmmm... did I forget “Clinton”? No, I did not. Clinton never won 50% of the popular vote. He was elected CON-STI-TOO-SHUN-UH-LEE by the electoral college.

In any case, “point” two is also where Moore “informs” Bush that a war in Iraq will not solve unemployment, will not lower the price of gasoline and will not restore confidence in publicly-traded corporations. Aha! Because President Bush was surely under the impression that a war in Iraq would do all of these things. Is this where the lying comes in? Is Moore trying to imply that President Bush isn’t trying to disarm a dictator who has violated international treaties and basic human rights but to create jobs?

“3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.”

Aha! Here it is. Just what I’ve been suspecting. My fellow Americans think that the US Presidency and US foreign policy should be a popularity contest. If we’re going to point a finger, I say point to the Civics and Social Studies teachers across America who aren’t doing their job. We are a CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC for goodness sake! We have a very clear set of rules designed to PROTECT US FROM THE MOB AND ITS TENDENCY TOWARD MASS HYSTERIA.

And, for the record, I am not against Mr. Bush. I may oppose some of his policies and my gut tells me that my opposition is based on deep moral convictions unlike anything Mr. Moore could even begin to comprehend. Mr. Moore, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were prowling around Littleton, Colorado. But I’m right here in Seattle now, so get your little camera and come and get me!

Moore’s fourth “point” continues with the popularity theme, people like the Pope and the Dixie Chicks are opposed to this war. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know already. Again, foreign policy is not and should not be based on popular opinion. Sorry, Mr. Moore, go ahead and throw a little tantrum with all of my friends and neighbors in King County but we just can’t have our way all of the time.

His fifth “point” calls on all members of Congress to sacrifice their children to war. I guess because, you know, that way they might catch on to the fact that it’s about life and death. I guess, because, you know, they never talk to anyone actually serving in the armed forces. Funny, when I worked on Capitol Hill, I distinctly noticed that each branch of the armed forces had offices on the House and Senate sides. I also noticed that people in the military and wanting to join made appointments to speak to their representatives in Congress on a regular basis. I also noticed that several members of Congress had actually served in wartime. Then again maybe I don't know what I'm talking about because I don’t know what it’s like to have a family member go off to war. My father wasn’t in the US Marine Corps during Vietnam. Neither was my uncle. And my little sister didn’t join the US Navy on September 11, 2001.

The sixth “point” starts with “We love France” and ends with “Kill Iraqis – they got our oil!!” Totally undeserving of any response.

Perhaps even more baffling than why so many people in America hate President Bush is why so many people love Michael Moore.
Wendy 1:56 PM